Have had a shit day today, so I must apologise if what follows is not among my happiest of thoughts...

It all started yesterday when the heavens opened and drenched me on my way in to school. I'm not impartial to a 'little' bit of rain; however, for those of you who are not too clued as to the recent meteorological events of our fair isle, IT PISSED DOWN! To make things worse, I was wearing a pair of canvas shoes and jean-style trousers; the kind that dry within an afternoon when hung out after being washed, but stays wet for an epoch when you are wearing them.

So, there I was, in school dripping wet. Many of my colleagues arrived in a similar state and the pupils, in their typical way, were splashing about in 4 inches of rainwater in the playground (they seemed to think it was funny to risk contracting acute pneumonia). Anyway, it turned out that the water that they were 'playing' in contained sewage!!! Yes, that’s right, sewage. Nasty, I know, but it is after hearing this from the deputy head of the school that the day got worse.

The pupils were herded into the hall and told to "sit quietly" by one of the senior teachers!! Now, call me sceptical, but I find it very difficult to comprehend why it is that people can say so much without consciously thinking about how ridiculous they might sound. "Sit quietly"? They're kids! Wet, smelly, full of additives, refined carbohydrate-fuelled kids. Of course they're not going to sit quietly. DOH!

After 30 minutes the school hall was up to 90% humidity and you could cut a slice of the air and take it away with you: "would you like a portion of arse crack or perhaps a helping of BO to go with your slice of rancid air"? If the smell wasn’t bad enough, the childrens' behaviour was worse. It took up until 12:30pm to eventually send all of the pupils home, by the end of which my entire throat was so dry that I could have easy been tempted to drink a glass of the rainwater from the playground.

That was yesterday...

Today the school was closed to the children and the staff were expected to go in for, surprise, surprise...MEETINGS! The day dragged on and on and on and...

At lunchtime, a colleague and I got an egg thrown at us while smoking a fag in the estate across the road. Luckily, the egg missed. I suspect that it was just some chav honing his primitive instincts. At any rate, I shouted back, "Ah, you missed, ye fuckin' idiot". Childish, I know. I guess from now on I will be smoking at the bus stop.

By now, I must be honest that I have run out of steam writing this post. I was all fired up for it at the start of the evening, after a friend of mine and my own cousin sent me ignorant texts that just topped of my day, but now… I’m in check and relaxed and am looking forward to a chilled out weekend. I wish you all the same. Xxx

P.S. The molecule at the top is the active chemical found in absinthe; generic name Thujone. Thanks S.